"People have to start with endings- letting go of whatever it is time to let go of- before they can make new beginnings" - William Bridges
And that is what I have been doing this last month... ending my time as a Grad student, school counselor, relationship with my clients, friends and own therapist..... I'm ending the life I have built here in Colorado in order to start a new beginning in Utah. It's weird because I realize Colorado is where I became myself, where I grew up and now I'm going back to the beginning, the place I left, so I can become grounded again. However, I feel like I'm coming back from war, changed.. forever and I wonder how I will "fit in" to the old system as my new self. How will people receive me, will I regress to old ways? It's hard to move on, all the while moving on to an old familiar place... but I have change inwardly and the external change serve as a symbol... a new stage of development. I think of the quote I put on my grad announcements by T.S. Eliot "and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." How very literal this is for me right now, what an interesting and exciting idea of coming back to "home" and knowing it for the first time.
p.s. does anyone read this anymore? My account has been weird for awhile, so leave a comment just so know it's viewable!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I done graduated!
This weekend I finally graduated. Most of my family came out for the event, including Mom and Dad, Kim, Kris, Kira, Curtis and my mother and father-in-law. It was a fast, fun, tiring weekend and I am ready to rest!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Things are getting crazy up in here
Holy Moly I'm graduating this Friday!!!
Can you believe I have been in school for 3 years!!! Remember when I got accepted into Naropa Grad Program? Who knew when I said it would be a challenge and I would have ups and downs..that it would include: working full-time and going to school full-time for two years, having a baby, all the while doing intensive personal depth work!! FFFFEEEWW... I'm tired.
I've explore many parts of this world, but never really explore parts of myself. These last three years have been dedicated to taking a deeper look at myself.... there is a quote by John Welwood that sums up my experience, " Only when we slow down and really see and feel our distress can it have an impact on us. Then our pain can begin to awaken our desire and will to live in a new way." It wasn't all painful... I had some silly, fun times as well and I know my self exploration has not ended, it never will.
Now it seems another change comes, time of transition. I feel a little lost now that I have accomplished my goal. I feel very much in a neutral zone between ending and beginning. Finishing what I've done and not knowing what I will do. These are the times when I feel a weird kind of trust in allowing whatever needs to happen, happen and also nervousness about the unknown. It's also a time when things come together and are created in a sort-of fast, dream like way. All I know is I'm ready to take a breath.... a lllloooooonnnnngggg DEEP breath.
Can you believe I have been in school for 3 years!!! Remember when I got accepted into Naropa Grad Program? Who knew when I said it would be a challenge and I would have ups and downs..that it would include: working full-time and going to school full-time for two years, having a baby, all the while doing intensive personal depth work!! FFFFEEEWW... I'm tired.
I've explore many parts of this world, but never really explore parts of myself. These last three years have been dedicated to taking a deeper look at myself.... there is a quote by John Welwood that sums up my experience, " Only when we slow down and really see and feel our distress can it have an impact on us. Then our pain can begin to awaken our desire and will to live in a new way." It wasn't all painful... I had some silly, fun times as well and I know my self exploration has not ended, it never will.
Now it seems another change comes, time of transition. I feel a little lost now that I have accomplished my goal. I feel very much in a neutral zone between ending and beginning. Finishing what I've done and not knowing what I will do. These are the times when I feel a weird kind of trust in allowing whatever needs to happen, happen and also nervousness about the unknown. It's also a time when things come together and are created in a sort-of fast, dream like way. All I know is I'm ready to take a breath.... a lllloooooonnnnngggg DEEP breath.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Potty Training Begins
A few months ago Elliott started to become interested in the toilet. So we have slowly been introducing him to potty training since then. He went once in the toilet and the rest of the time he tells me when he has gone in his diaper and we set him on the potty and he gets a potty treat. He also has a potty training book that he likes to ready while on the toilet.
We had a set back last month when he went to the bathroom on the ground... it freaked him out to see his own poop! He ran out of my room screaming "GROSS!!!" He has regress a little since then, but I can't wait for this summer when I will let him loose in the backyard with only his b-day suit on and he can run free to poop and pee as he pleases! HA!
Elliott in his big boys... you can't tell they are toy story undies, but loves woody and buzz
Elliott reading his potty book
Elliott after he unraveled the toilet paper roll
We had a set back last month when he went to the bathroom on the ground... it freaked him out to see his own poop! He ran out of my room screaming "GROSS!!!" He has regress a little since then, but I can't wait for this summer when I will let him loose in the backyard with only his b-day suit on and he can run free to poop and pee as he pleases! HA!
Elliott in his big boys... you can't tell they are toy story undies, but loves woody and buzz
Elliott reading his potty book
Elliott after he unraveled the toilet paper roll
Monday, February 28, 2011
The power of vulnerability
Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com
If you have some time listen to this talk, it's such a good example of self compassion and healing. This talk explains a lot for what I have learned in the past 3 years training in transpersonal counseling psychology. Someday I hope to be able to be part of the wholehearted.... baby steps I suppose.
If you have some time listen to this talk, it's such a good example of self compassion and healing. This talk explains a lot for what I have learned in the past 3 years training in transpersonal counseling psychology. Someday I hope to be able to be part of the wholehearted.... baby steps I suppose.
